My take on The Aristocrats Joke
by Sistapig
Summary: its just my version with my friends in it


p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"So The crew; Joe, Nick, Patrick, Josh, Ethan and Rey-Rey's there for fun. They walk into a talent agents office and they tell the agent "we got a great act for you its gonna knock your socks off" and the agent goes "we don't do crew acts, they're too cute" and then Nick says "ah but this is kinda cute in a way that you've never seen before. You're gonna like it, I promise." The agent says "alright, you've got two minutes lets see what you've got." Joe and Nick start profusely making out and the agent goes "this is a weird opener but I'll stick with it, this isn't so bad" Well...wait until Josh and Patrick start going at it too. Tongue and cheek, literally. And then Josh starts to kiss Nick, Joe starts to eat out Patrick's asshole. Pretty soon the whole crew is locked in a terrible orgy that there is no escape from. It had reached the point of no return. As the orgy was happening they begin to rotate, the whole Crew even Ethan was being used as a dildo. They're all rotating, except for Rey, who's outside the rotation of orgy 'cause someone's gotta be there to lick the dirty parts as they go by. And now there's just sweat and cum and piss and there's blood because things get crazy but it's okay because they're all In a crew, so it's fine. Now the agent is uh, the agents already called 911 by now. He started dialing when he noticed Patrick sticking a glass rod up his penis and banging it like a, ooh, like a glow stick. You just hear a handful of pops and then he fucks Josh with his little tiny baby dick. Josh isn't loving it. Patrick gets a little too excited; he cums the bloody, cummy glass shards into Josh's child anus; that wasn't a part of the act. Meanwhile, Joe's blowing Nick right in front of Them. Reys eating out Ethans asshole. Ethans eating cat food. By now it's probably a good time to say that Joe is retarded and not just acceptably retarded, wheelchair retarded, which is great because those ones drool a lot so you always got a lubed hole which is exactly what they were using. Anyways where was I; blood, piss, cum shit. Literally every bodily fluid you could think of was just smeared across this poor agent's office. Especially the tears. I haven't forgotten about Rey, he gets up on top of the agents desk and pulls out a cross bow and she shoots a grappling hook into the ceiling and repels down off the desk, across the room, Ass first onto Patricks dick. They both fall over. Patrick cracks three ribs. He dies. His last breaths were sucked out of him by the orgasm he was having, shooting his little cum load upside Rey. Meanwhile, Nick is busy punch-fisting Josh's butt. Joe smearing her shitty colostomy bag all over Josh's developing tits. Oh Ethan, I forgot about Ethan. So it's head came off some where along the way. Now Nick picks it up and you might be thinking "oh, a decapitated baby's head" but Nick's thinking "oh, a new hole" (points to neck) right here. And what do we do when we find a new hole, we make it bigger. Here's where it gets gross. By now Joe's fallen out of the wheel chair and he's convulsing on the ground because at some point during the act he missed her dose. They put the headless Ethans corpse into the wheel chair and they tie a long ribbon across the room and they use it as a sling shot to sling the Ethan out the window. It barely missed the agents head. Patrick's penis is inside of Josh but Patrick is not attached to it, Josh cut off and is using the blood, Josh is running around with tribal paint on his face. You can't tell the difference between Patrick and Josh at this point. Josh pulls out a noose and ties it to the chandelier, puts his neck through it; flat out hangs himself, alright. Obviously, the Crew uses it as a piñata. You can imagine beating Josh over and over but with metal bats, by the way. You can just imagine how the crunches turn into softer and softer beats you know because you're just breaking him into fine bits from the inside and you can imagine what's dripping on the ground. Different shades of red and green for some reason. Patricks cum, that's dripping out of him as well. They start spinning him so all of his fluids are just shooting across the room. At this point Nick has filled two condoms fully with cum and starts using them as nunchucks-as cumchucks on his dead pal Josh. Josh is actually not dead yet, he's still dying. The last memory he'll ever have is Nicks cum-the last memory he'll ever have is Nicks cum in his eye right before he blacks out and the agent goes "I've never seen an act like that in my life! What do you call yourselves?" And Nick limps up. He's limping because you can imagine in this terrible sex act that shit gets broke, one of his eyes is dead. Nick limps up to the agents desk like a Walmart employee and throws his hands on it. He says "can I see your pocket knife" so the agent says "alright this man seems sane" and gives him the pocket knife. And the dad carves "the aristocrats" into the desk and fills those grooves with cum before taking that pocket knife and slitting his own throat and dying next to Joe who is still breathing involuntarily mind you 'cause the oxygen tanks still pumping his lungs. The whole crew's dead at this point, this wasn't even an act this was a mass suicide disguised as an audition. The cops arrive and the agent is arrested for mass murder. /span/p


End file.
